Dating While the House Is Possessed…
I matched with a guy on Bumble who opened with, “My house is haunted, and since you’re a Christian, can you help?” And honestly, I was excited. I had never been to a real haunted house before, so I thought, “Sure! Why not?” Most people get asked to dinner on a first date. Apparently, I got invited to investigate a haunted house. I was completely on board. When I arrived, I met a tall, handsome house flipper, and things immediately got interesting. The house had quite a résumé. The doorbell kept ringing by itself, even though nobody was outside. He told me a man had previously committed suicide in the house. One of his construction workers had felt phantom hands touching his feet while working alone in an empty room. Then the washing machine randomly turned itself on with nobody anywhere near it. At this point, I was thinking, “Wow, this place is really committed to the haunted-house experience.” Then the temperature suddenly dropped and the entire house became freezing cold. He showed me creepy claw marks on a closet door that he said would appear whenever he was inside the house. Then he told me his friends had supposedly seen his eyes turn pitch black while he lifted a 200-pound couch with two hands. A 200-pound couch. With two hands. I was starting to think I had accidentally matched with the main character of a horror movie.
So I gave him a deliverance prayer to read. He could see the words right there on the page, but when he tried to read them, he couldn’t get the words out. He completely froze. So I stepped in, prayed over him and the house, and reminded him that the Holy Spirit has authority over anything dark or frightening.
Then he told me another girl had stopped seeing him because she had supposedly seen something terrifying in her rearview mirror after leaving his house. He also told me that a woman had done witchcraft on him and that he had been seeing strange things ever since. Naturally, I gave him the contact information for my deliverance ministers. At this point, I had gone from Bumble date to paranormal investigator and spiritual emergency contact in about an hour. But apparently, one haunted house wasn’t enough. Next, we went to his dad’s house, which somehow had its own paranormal activity. There was a cat inside that looked absolutely terrified, like it had already seen things no cat should ever have to see. We heard strange noises coming from an empty room, and he told me that a priest had once come over, saw something terrifying, and literally ran out of the house. Then I noticed a picture of Jesus on the wall. Except this Jesus was extremely pale and blonde. I looked at it and thought, “Well, that’s interesting.” I told him I felt something was wrong with the picture and thought he should get rid of it. And naturally, I also gave him a quick history lesson: Jesus was Middle Eastern, not a blonde Nordic model who looked like he should be advertising shampoo.
By this point, I had officially become the paranormal investigator, prayer warrior, deliverance referral specialist, and Jesus-history teacher on one Bumble date. And somehow, after all of this, he eventually flipped the haunted house and sold it for a huge profit. Apparently, haunted houses are still good real estate investments. Most people come home from a Bumble date saying, “We had a nice time.” I came home thinking, “Well, that was interesting.” I had just experienced phantom hands, a possessed washing machine, mysterious claw marks, a 200-pound couch, a terrified cat, a fleeing priest, witchcraft, and a historically inaccurate picture of Jesus—all in one evening. Honestly, I couldn’t have made this story up if I tried.
But underneath all the craziness, the experience reminded me why my faith matters to me. When things seem dark or frightening, I don’t want to live in fear. I want to walk in faith, stay in the light, and trust in God. Because no matter how strange the situation gets, I believe there is ultimate power in the name of Jesus.
